If I had a dollar for every time someone said to me: “But why do I have to ask? He should know what I feel/want/think.” I could give King Midas a run for his money and live in a castle built of gold bricks!
Love does a great many things, but it doesn’t turn us into psychic wizards. We need to tell each other what we want and ask for what we need. And I mean TELL and ASK. If nothing but the blue angora sweater will do for your 30th birthday – SAY that or you may end up with a set of kitchen canisters. If you want your girlfriend or wife to wear that black, silk, strapless dress to your office’s Christmas party, TELL her or she might show up in that flowery number that you hate. Not because she doesn’t love you, but because she isn’t psychic.
People often think that getting what you ask for makes the gift less special, but, in fact, discovering that the person you love has loved you enough to hear what you want, and has gone to the trouble of giving it to you, is often even more special. It means that he or she wants to please you enough to give your true heart’s desire, whether that’s a new living room couch, some time alone, that wild pair of earrings, or just a shoulder to cry on.
Of course wanting your sweetheart to be psychic is a wonderful fantasy. It would be great if he or she knew everything you wanted and could make it magically appear. Letting go of the dream that your honey will “just know” is really letting go of the childhood fantasy that your parents would always know exactly what you wanted. It’s sad to think that love has its limits, that getting what we want takes effort, but it does.
And once you’ve mourned your fantasy, remembering that your sweetheart isn’t psychic will encourage you to be more forthright and adventurous in expressing your needs and desires, which will make it more likely that the other person will meet them. Receiving what you want will make your heart soft, happy and open. You’ll feel more loving and more love will start flowing back to you. So what’s stopping you from asking?
